august 2011

The most painful experience when your depressed is when everyone thinks you just want attention when in reality you really are impaired... And then they will question your faith and ask you to pray - little did they know when you're depressed there is never a single second that you don't seek a higher being's attention because nothing seems to work, all your demons won't stop, and you've never felt more alone in your entire life from which is why you want to end it today.

A drowning person needs to be rescued, not be taught how to swim on the last minute... otherwise he will end up dead

If you stop eating, if you stop sleeping, not only your body but even your mind will be too exhausted to think about morbid self destructive thoughts... BLISS.

Ihanda ang trampoline, malapit na akong malaglag...

im no autumn in your 500 fucking days of summer, im not summer neither

did you just call me "bobo"?

you don't really lose anything when you adopt a wrong notion that you have been vilified - you're just threatened because your illusion of grandiose becomes questionable.

(did you just call me "bobo" for having a low opinion of you? or for talking to your so called circle of friends from which you care more about the alliance than the relationship - that's why you think it's a big deal if they repeat to you what they hear and make yourself believe they are loyal - what do you think of your friends? dogs? I don't think so)

comment whoring on Nieva's post about a weird dream

on Tuesday, January 18, 2011 at 9:46pm

by Yvette Billy

"The dream master can actually move some stuff in reality which are about to happen, and let it just run in the dream state. This avoids excessive tragedy in aroused state."

- (mnesarete phryne 1/18/2011)

There are different types of dreams. Here are a few

a. symbolic

b. prophetic or futuristic

c. soul travel or dejavu

(Whenever you visit a place for the first time but you feel "parang nakapunta nako dito!")

d. a tragedy pull out

(hahaha i forgot what it's called so we'll call it that way!)

The dream master can actually move some stuff in reality which are about to happen, and let it just run in the dream state. This avoids excessive tragedy in aroused state.

When something is bound or destined to happen because a lesson must be learned, if the dream master feels the chela (life student) won't be able to handle it, he pulls out that event from real life and just let it happen in the dream state.

The dream master is also the one that balances kharmic occurences.

A person may appear to have been burning in kharma, but in reality he is learning a lesson - what will it be like to feel this way and why this shouldn't happen to others.

Hate shouldn't keep bouncing endlessly like a table tennis ball.Once the lesson is learned, hatred must rest.

Kharma shouldn't be used to threaten but rather again, to learn to forgive and restore balance.

(Me I'd rather have tragic events happen in a dream than in real life, pero the Dream Master, feeling nya yakang yaka ko lage ang tragedy loko yun eh ungas!)

..In our book the demon has a different name and he is not evil

In fact he is a guardian that balances pleasure and pain -

because the right amount of pain gives pleasure

and too much pleasure causes pain - (mnesarete phryne 11/5/09)

http://mnesaretephryne.blogspot.com/2011/01/at-large.html

I am not handling the break up well

I need my shrink to give me meds, but im broke. I almost lit our house on fire last night because i was so exhausted crying, i forgot the stove.

My chest hurt like it's being stabbed. I held a knife wanting to stab it for real, but got scared. I am losing it and I am scared.

If I still stay in a building like I used to, I may have flown out the window dead by now. It's becoming really unbearable for me - this stinky place, hostile friends, one month old cough and being abandoned by my Ex.

I am sorry for being weak.

Not even the fact that a lot of men are asking me out is enough to pacify me.

How sure are we that the next prospective relationship won't end up tragic like this? And how big are the chances they're just killing time and toying with me?

I am becoming really obnoxious now, telling the world all these.

I am sorry for being weak.

REAL FINANCIAL STABILITY AND MANAGING LOW AND HIGH RISK INVESTMENTS

by Yvette Billy on Thursday, December 16, 2010 at 8:36pm

Inflation

With the average 4-6% inflation rate, your Mackers value meal that cost around Php 100 today in your 30's, will be

Php 800 by the time you retire.

So if you stop earning by this time, will your savings be enough to get you a decent meal everyday?

(Unbelievable? ask your mother how much is a bottle of coke 30 years ago)

It's not enough that you save. You have to invest. Now how do you do it without losing it all?

SAVE FIRST.

Then divide your savings into three - coverage, investments and luxury.

On Saving

The moment you get hold of your paycheck, keep 10% (or more) of your money and

DON'T TOUCH IT until you finished reading everything from this article.

No matter how tempting it is to buy that branded shirt or dine in an expensive restaurant which you feel you can still afford if only you will allow yourself to spend that remaining 10% of your salary which you set aside before you went to the grocery for your everyday needs and paid your rent,

DON'T.

You may not believe now but you badly need that money in the future. We are not even sure if all of that accumulated savings will be enough. So DON'T TOUCH IT.

If you feel your sense of style and appetite is being compromised, then budget your money wisely.

Do you really need to turn on the aircon? Or you feel you will rather spend the extra 3,000 you pay for electricity on fashion and dining?

If you want both then WORK HARDER TO EARN MORE MONEY.

But don't forget to increase also your savings when you earn more.

Low Risk Investments and Financial Coverage

Now why do we need that effin 10% of your income which I don't want you to touch?

We are not saving it to buy you a new car, hell no!

Times are hard. You'll never know when you or a family member might get sick. If you're not careful, you could even get a girl pregnant so you will need that money on these more important things. But will your savings be enough?

You're money in the bank will never be enough.

This is where pre need products like health card, educational plans and memorial plans come in handy. You don't want all your savings to be wasted on hospital bills when someone in the family gets sick.

The good news is some employers provide these.

But if you are unlucky not to get this benefit, you should get one for yourself.

But watch out for bogus fly by night insurance companies and always check the news which financial institutions have less to zero chances of going bankrupt.

Whatever happened with Lehman Brothers and AIG should not stop you from getting an affordable insurance because you need to secure the future if you love your family.

If you're a single parent, you don't want your seven year old daughter to be sent in Manila to work for an aunt as a housekeeper and be bullied by cousins because you did not leave her anything before you died in that car accident.

But remember to get only a financial product you can afford. Do not over do it.

Don't get a one million pre need insurance plan which your savings cannot afford to pay.

Do not use your grocery money to pay for insurance.

Remember to use only half of the 10% you saved here as you will need the other half to increase your wealth.

But don't let your money sleep in the bank.

If you're 20 years old and you left 100,000 in the bank –

It will take 72 years before it doubles at 1% interest.

Invest in low risk financial products like time deposits, government bonds and mutual funds. They offer guaranteed return of investment.

At 4% time deposit interest, your 100,000 will be 200,000 after eighteen years.

By the time your 66, it will be 400,000.

(4% interest)

age - money

30 - 100,000

48 - 200,000

66 - 400,000

At 12% interest, your 100,000 will be 200,000 in six years.

By the time you're 66, you'll have 6,400,000

(12% interest)

age – money

30 - 100,000

36 - 200,000

42 - 400,000

48 - 800,000

54 - 1,600,000

60 - 3,200,000

66 - 6,400,000

How did this happen?

Your bank actually invests your money in a financial institution, gives you 400,000 at 4% interest as promised, and runs away with 6,000,000 million which should have been yours if you only went straight in the financial market yourself.

My personal advice for long term investments, forget banks.

Save it somewhere else but again, watch out for bogus wealth managers.

There.

Now with insurance coverage on all aspects and low risk investments, your future will be somewhat secured.

But with the inflation rate, even if you have savings, upon retirement you may not be able to afford the things you enjoy now. So you need to work double time to save more.

High Risk Investments

Now that your short term and long term needs are secured, it's about time you think out of the box to double your money really fast because you need to maximize time left before retirement where you will not be physically capable of working and thus earning the same way you are doing now.

You may now gamble and explore all possibilities.

Invest in the stock market or put up a business.

Chances of not getting your money back is very high so once you gain something back from these ventures, again divide into three:

first chunk - business expansion

second chunk - savings

You need to set aside a portion of your profit. This is different from your personal savings as this amount you set aside should be taken solely from the mark up you earned from your new business, not your previous source of income.

It’s very important that you do this so there will be money ready to use to continue operations should unfortunate incidents happen (like fire, theft or simply not getting enough income back);

Also, make sure your location has fire insurance and ask your financial planner about car insurance for your delivery vans (if you have any)

Never use the personal savings you set aside for family emergencies.

If the income you earn from your business is not even enough to continue operations at an extended period of time, shut it down and invest somewhere else.

third chunk - Enjoy.

A lot of people waste their money purely on this when they are young.

When they get their first million, they buy a house or a car and more houses and more cars.

By the time they retire, they just sell it one by one to pay for tuition fee, hospital bills or worse, loan and credit card debt because they could not live within their means.

If you will be using the money you’re supposed to save for health care and education, then that housing loan or car you are paying by installment is not yet for you.

And don’t get me started on that credit card.

At 3.2 % monthly interest rate multiplied by twelve months, that’s 38.4% annual interest.

If your Php 50,000 bill remains unpaid, in two years it will be about Php 100,000 and will be very difficult to pay.

If you will not live within your means, time will come when all the money you worked hard for will only be used to pay off loans and debts.

So use your credit card wisely. Never purchase anything you cannot pay at the end of the month.

Most people in the know never change their lifestyle for at least five years while they are still in the saving period

Make sure all potential dangers and expenses in your life are covered before you spend more.

No matter how tempting it is to move to a bigger apartment the moment you get your first salary increase, DON’T.

You haven’t saved enough yet.

It's very important that you only use one third of your income in luxury.

The Micer

Believe it or not while most people throw all their money away, there are some few who are too stingy and won't spend a dime for a decent pair of shoes.

Never make the big mistake of watching your money grow while you live a miserable life.

Life is short. Learn to reward yourself generously for all the work you've done because that is why we are all working in the first place - to enjoy.

All this talk about saving is only to avoid being miserable in the future, like not being able to get hold of things you really wanted because you need to spend the money somewhere else, like your son's school project.

Once you have earned the right to spend, (savings, insurance and investments already set aside)

SPLURGE!

but not in excess, okay?

Remember, one third only.

Don't touch that time deposit

(A lot of my friends don't know i used to be a licensed financial planner so when i talk about money, they shut me out. So I just wrote here everything I want to say. Thank you for reading. -yvette )

8 THINGS YOU NEED TO CONSIDER BEFORE YOU GO SHOPPING INSTEAD OF PAYING THE MONEY YOU OWE ME

1.

I haven't seen a dentist since high school. Last time I saw one was when my orthodontist removed my braces.

I was thinking of paying a visit but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

2.

I need to see a podiatrist. My feet is hideous and it smells awful. I was thinking of seeing one

but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

3.

I am coughing myself to death. I need to see a doctor and buy medicines

but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

4.

I have a really huge pimple I think my crush will not fail to notice. I was thinking of having a dermatologist remove it

but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

5.

Security guards, bus conductors and taxi drivers, fast food crews were very rude to me. I was thinking of getting glutathione shots and whitening body scrub so I will look "mayaman" like you and get all the instant respect from these idiots with power trip tendencies, but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

6.

I gained weight. I need to either go to the gym or buy new clothes.

but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

7.

I have a really stressed out, grouchy and nagging mother I can only tame by showering her gifts. She has sacrificed a lot for us and she deserves it. I would have been able to switch her mood from miserable to happy.

but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

8.

It's my father's birthday today. Every year I buy him something expensive. Fuck the idea "it's the thought that counts". The price of your gift shows how much you value a loved one. I would have given him something today.

but instead I LEND YOU A FEW BUCKS CAUSE YOU NEED IT.

Now before you go to the mall and think of buying a new electronic gadget, a pair of branded jeans or perfume, bear in mind all these inconvenience I had to go through because I helped you when you needed money.

HINDI KITA PINAHIRAPAN NUNG IKAW ANG MAY KAILANGAN, BAKIT PINAPAHIRAPAN MO AKO NGAYON SA PAGSINGIL? KAPAL NG MUKHA MO.

(a lot of my so called friends aren't aware I came from a very poor family because I have always lived within my means and never ask people for money. Well now you know. And because I am poor, I know what it's like to have nothing that's why I have always been generous...)

"at large"

all this time instead of hating you, i tried my best to understand your situation and what

you've been through in the past... that's the only thing that keeps me from taking your selfish

actions towards me, personally.

(i still want to believe every time you hurt me, it was not intentional, even if i always catch

you in your unguarded moments always threatening to kill me, abandon me or get back at me

viciously - especially when you feel i'm the one to blame why you are miserable at the moment...

you always make your past, and other people accountable for your misfortunes, instead of looking

at things on a higher perspective and take criticisms constructively....

you keep doing the same mistakes because you do not acknowledge you made a mistake, you just

pretend to do so to avoid confrontation or stop someone from talking

Do not expect others to forgive you if you yourself look at what you have done as something

unforgivable.

The only person who thinks people are looking down at you because of what you did is you.

Maybe some people will do, but they are not in any position. No one has the right to look down

at you for your mistakes because they themselves are not perfect.

Your wrong doings in the past (and those you are about to do in the future) will not undo any of

your accomplishments...

You must accept the fact that the people who love you will not stop loving you for making

mistakes so there is no reason to deny that something is your fault..

The reason why you cannot win anyone's trust is because your apologies aren't sincere...

cause if you really acknowledge that you are wrong, you will not take it against them if it will

take time to forgive you or believe in you again... you will just continue asking forgiveness

with closed ears to whatever bad reactions may arise because they are hurt.

Do not be too hard on yourself, it's normal to be wrong most of the time. Forgive yourself. This

will make it easier for you to accept that you have been wrong.

be larger than the situation.

you made the mistake, you are not the mistake. so you are in control to make it right.

Be proactive. You make the good vibes. Don't look for it from others or worse blame other

people's so called "bad vibes" for your misfortunes or wrong doings. They won't have all these

"bad vibes" in the first place if you did not hurt them or let them down in the past.

Again, do not be too hard on yourself about this. You maybe tired, but other people are too.

So don't take it personally if they nag.

Ignore.

Do not lace effort with emotion.

Just keep working. Guilt and feelings of not being trusted will drag you down, so ignore it.

I am very happy because in a few days a lot of your big problems will be over.

Yet I am worried because your heart is full of guilt hate and anger towards people whom you feel

never be of any help. I wish you get rid of these feelings.

You already are successful and on the way to being more successful.

You don't need anyone's approval anymore.

Vengeance is lame if you will be dealing with people smaller than you... so small they could not

stop themselves from making you feel you are a nobody, but they don't matter.

The only sad news is that most people who refuse to believe in you are the people closest to you.

This could be because you remind them of their insecurities, they need someone to look down to

so they can live in their make believe world that they are better.

The fact that you are near makes you an easy target.

Learn to ignore them.

For these could also be some loved ones who are too attached and refuse to believe that you can stand on

your own because they feel there is so much they still can do and will not stop at anything to

always be present in your life, even if they hurt you unintentionally each time they make you

feel you are no good without them so therefore you will always need their help.

Again, ignore them lovingly.

There. I hope I have made myself very clear. Some of the points I said here are no longer new

but instead of looking at it as a nag, just take it as a reminder.

I am sorry for being grouchy.

Don't take it against you, it's just so frustrating that because of this very bad situation that

we are in, you were not able to keep any of your promises.

You are on your way to going back to the wealthy life you once lost.

Me, I have always lived a simple life and I am contented...... but all the things I have worked

hard for are gone now.

I have worked hard to have a place I can call my own, a job that can help me afford to be with

the little things that makes me want to wake up in the morning - my family, my music school, my

cats, my friends... they are all gone now because I have been too involved in your situation.

I have worked so hard to make sure I can afford even a small room where I can pick my nose

anytime I want. but Even my privacy / personal space is gone now.

They say when you love someone, you give them all permission to hurt you.

I love you, and I am very hurt at the moment.

So forgive me for being grouchy.

I know you have lost quite a fraction of the affection you used to have for me because of these

mood swings, Yet I can't blame you because it really is not your fault.

Just ignore me.

If you really love me, you won't make me feel guilty about anything that makes me whole..But then who am I to define what love is and to measure if you really do? What we have is larger than that and I love you more than anyone and anything in this sick sad world of lies, manipulation, jealousy and revenge.

We are larger than that.

-mnesarete phryne 11/25/2010