OF EATING DISORDERS AND MANIC DEPRESSIVE EPISODES

I maybe anorexic but my running thoughts are fat
Usually they impair me
But now they introduce me to something interesting
Quite an observation...

Maybe I don't really have an eating disorder
Maybe I am just broke

A lot of my friends complain that I am always talking about my problems
I also find people who does that same thing I do annoying

But right now (putangina gutom na gutom na ako)
I realize I had been only vocal about LoVe PRoBLeMs c",)
I always fall in love with men who are out of my league that's why I always end up
being rejected and then I will start to wallow in misery about not being good enough blablabla

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS
WE'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT NOW

I just want to introduce you to my recent observation.

People have different problems - LOVE, MONEY, CAREER etc.

A person could be very vocal in an obnoxious way about LOVE problems and at the same time
be very quiet about his MONEY or CAREER pressures.

A person could be very vocal about his MONEY problems and at the same time just laugh at
his LOVE or CAREER pressures.

A person could be very vocal about his LOVE, MONEY and CAREER problems even if he actually has none.

A person could be very vocal about how he finds people who were vocal about their problems ANNOYING.

A person could go the extra mile to help another person

A person could be very vocal about wanting to help another person even if he has no plan of actually helping

I find it funny how different people react to a downer situation.

The reason why I put this observation in writing is because I want to apologize to the people who find me annoying each time I bombard them with my thoughts of suicide each time a guy rejects me.

I also want them to appreciate the fact that I am the kind of person who goes the extra mile to help them in whatever situation they are in even if technicaly we are not friends yet because I have just met them.

And lastly I hope they realize sometimes I don't eat for days but I am not very vocal about it.

When it comes to that shit, I keep my freak to myself because even if you all think I don't, I still believe people have their own problems and mine is for me to solve - not to be shouldered by others.

I only wish I could be the person who is very vocal about MONEY and CAREER problems and at the same time be quiet about LOVE pressures.

..because honestly I could use some help with the former

..but the latter is most of the time always hopeless.

(PUTANGINA PUTANGINA GUTOM NA GUTOM NA TALAGA AKO AYOKO PA RIN TUMANGGAP NG PAGKAIN GALING SA MGA NANLILIGAW NASAAN BA MGA KAIBIGAN KO HINDI AKO MATUTUWANG KUMAIN PAG ALAM KONG YUNG NAGBIBIGAY UMAASA NG KAPALIT)

or maybe I just really don't want to eat.
Maybe I really have an eating disorder.
I remember being depressed when I gained a little weight.
Maybe I like this.

But I hate being broke because I like helping my friends when they are broke.
Can you imagine how worthless I feel right now

I might end up giving my bed expertise again to anyone because I have nothing else to offer
I am just a nuisance

My sweet Lord, where are my friends?
I need to be locked in a room where no one can enter

I think my satyriasis is back :-(