ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION

I am a fan
Turn me on
I think it's hot


You choose me from about a
dozen fans from the appliance shop
Not because I am the coolest,
probably because I am the cheapest


You can make me rotate so you can share me
with your friends
but what I really like is just go steady with you


I can get really dirty sometimes
I like it when you clean me up


CHORUS:

Soon you can afford a better fan or an AC
When that day comes I wouldn't mind sitting on one corner
Loving you from a distance like I always did because

I am your fan
You turn me on
I think you're hot



Lately I've been smoking and making this funny noise
I know when I get faulty, this will leave you no choice


If all I was now is an eyesore to your house
I'm better off sold or dumped in a junk yard


CHORUS:

Soon you can afford a better fan or an AC
When that day comes I wouldn't mind sitting on one corner
Loving you from a distance because

I am just your fan
You turn me on
I think you're hot



Goodbye to you my not anymore proud owner
You know I love you more than anything else in this house
But I have to respect your decision
I sometimes wish I've never been"manufractured" at all


I will never spin again, not for anyone else
You're the only one who can turn me on
You're the only one who can turn me on


It hurts so bad I wanna disintegrate


I am your fan
You turn me on
I think you being hot is an understatement


I miss you
but words are cheap and you get a lot of these
so it's very hard for you to comprehend how "industrial" my love is

When you try to be the hero, you end up in someone's hell.
When you try to be the villain, you realize how lame you are
If neither concern nor hatred fills you in,
What the fuck is socializing for?

OF EATING DISORDERS AND MANIC DEPRESSIVE EPISODES

I maybe anorexic but my running thoughts are fat
Usually they impair me
But now they introduce me to something interesting
Quite an observation...

Maybe I don't really have an eating disorder
Maybe I am just broke

A lot of my friends complain that I am always talking about my problems
I also find people who does that same thing I do annoying

But right now (putangina gutom na gutom na ako)
I realize I had been only vocal about LoVe PRoBLeMs c",)
I always fall in love with men who are out of my league that's why I always end up
being rejected and then I will start to wallow in misery about not being good enough blablabla

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS
WE'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT NOW

I just want to introduce you to my recent observation.

People have different problems - LOVE, MONEY, CAREER etc.

A person could be very vocal in an obnoxious way about LOVE problems and at the same time
be very quiet about his MONEY or CAREER pressures.

A person could be very vocal about his MONEY problems and at the same time just laugh at
his LOVE or CAREER pressures.

A person could be very vocal about his LOVE, MONEY and CAREER problems even if he actually has none.

A person could be very vocal about how he finds people who were vocal about their problems ANNOYING.

A person could go the extra mile to help another person

A person could be very vocal about wanting to help another person even if he has no plan of actually helping

I find it funny how different people react to a downer situation.

The reason why I put this observation in writing is because I want to apologize to the people who find me annoying each time I bombard them with my thoughts of suicide each time a guy rejects me.

I also want them to appreciate the fact that I am the kind of person who goes the extra mile to help them in whatever situation they are in even if technicaly we are not friends yet because I have just met them.

And lastly I hope they realize sometimes I don't eat for days but I am not very vocal about it.

When it comes to that shit, I keep my freak to myself because even if you all think I don't, I still believe people have their own problems and mine is for me to solve - not to be shouldered by others.

I only wish I could be the person who is very vocal about MONEY and CAREER problems and at the same time be quiet about LOVE pressures.

..because honestly I could use some help with the former

..but the latter is most of the time always hopeless.

(PUTANGINA PUTANGINA GUTOM NA GUTOM NA TALAGA AKO AYOKO PA RIN TUMANGGAP NG PAGKAIN GALING SA MGA NANLILIGAW NASAAN BA MGA KAIBIGAN KO HINDI AKO MATUTUWANG KUMAIN PAG ALAM KONG YUNG NAGBIBIGAY UMAASA NG KAPALIT)

or maybe I just really don't want to eat.
Maybe I really have an eating disorder.
I remember being depressed when I gained a little weight.
Maybe I like this.

But I hate being broke because I like helping my friends when they are broke.
Can you imagine how worthless I feel right now

I might end up giving my bed expertise again to anyone because I have nothing else to offer
I am just a nuisance

My sweet Lord, where are my friends?
I need to be locked in a room where no one can enter

I think my satyriasis is back :-(

What you don't know about kharma

..In our book the demon has a different name and he is not evil
In fact he is a guardian that balances pleasure and pain -
because the right amount of pain gives pleasure
and too much pleasure causes pain

... the dream master is also the one that balances kharmic occurences. a person may appear to have been burning in kharma, but in reality he is learning a lesson - what will it be like to feel this way and why this shouldn't happen to others.

hate shouldn't keep bouncing endlessly like a jackstone ball. once the lesson is learned, hatred must rest. kharma shouldn't be used to threaten but rather again, to learn to forgive and restore balance c",) - jan 18, 2011

from "murdered in the chase"

you were the predator
i was your prey

you don't get to kill me
coz i was murdered in the chase

caught and stumbled
on a trap set by a hunter

you don't get to kill me
coz i was murdered in the chase

Why do you love me?

Last night I took a hide thinking I will not be hurt for as long as I can avoid seeing and being seen
but thoughts of you seeing me as an eyesore kept haunting me and I cannot come up with another defense from the catatonic effect of your hatred..

Why do you hurt me? What did I ever do to you?

Why was I so fond of you? Why do you love me?

Then I figured out the answers just don't matter.

TAKE CARE LIKE I CARE c",)

MGA INSTANT IDEA NA NAGLALARO SA SALITANG "TAKE at CARE":


Mga punchline kaninang umaga na pwede kong alalahanin para mapangiti ako ngayong araw:

1)

RL: What kind of person are you? Are you a giver or a taker?
CR: Uhrmm
BILLY: I think he's a taker for granted

***

2)

CR: Uwi nako take care!
BILLY: Yeah.. take care like I care!

(peace man, ofcourse I didn't mean it puma punchline lang corny kasi ang buhay)

***

3)

(mensahe ko para sa taong pinakamahal ko sa lahat)

Thanks for "caring" for me enough to let me go
Guess "care" is what I needed the most

There'll always be an empty room waiting for you because I care for you more than anyone else
Do I have to say the words?